Your "Privilege" and How To Approach It Gratefully

Hi there! Let's take 2 seconds to talk about privilege.

In the wake of the #BlackLivesMatter movement and all the talk of systematic racism going on, the words "white privilege" have been coming up a lot, but it's not just a white thing. There is "male privilege" which is something enjoyed by men. There is "CIS privilege" which is enjoyed by straight gender conforming individuals.

Obviously there is nothing wrong with being these things. You have no choice in the matter as to whether you are born black or white, male, female or other, or are straight or gay. But it seems sometimes when privilege is pointed out some people become angry and think they are being shamed. That's not the point, so let me try to explain what is.

When we use these new terms around privilege I personally am never trying or looking for anybody to feel bad or guilty about themselves for it. What would the point of that be? How would that help the situation? Maybe an angry vindictive person might want to inflict or encourage pain in other but I most certainly don't. That doesn't vibe well with me.

On the contrary, when I point out to you that you might have one of these privileges, it's not because I want you to feel guilty; I want you to feel grateful.

GRATITUDE---- It's sort of a buzzword nowadays, isn't it?

We are so often encouraged to write gratitude lists or have a gratitude practice in order to make our lives better in the new age. Whether you heard it from your guru, a yoga teacher, a life coach or a nutrition expert, everybody is acknowledging how important it is to be grateful in order to continue creating a better life for yourself.

Now, this might sound surprising to you, but if I bring up your privilege, it's because I want you to feel that sense of gratitude DEEPLY. I WANT you to have a good life. I WANT you to be happy. I WANT you to feel good about yourself... but simply not at the expense or detriment of others.

When I tell a story about a black person getting treated rudely at a restaurant or a store, I want you to feel GRATEFUL that that doesn't happen to you, not guilty. If you don't treat people in that way, why would I want you to feel guilty about it?

If you are a man, who can go out drinking with your friends, without the prominent fear of possibly beings raped that night, I want you to feel grateful for that, not guilty! NO ONE should be getting raped, not men, not women, not anybody. I am happy for you that it's not an issue you have to deal with, but for me as a woman, I do have to navigate that scary danger.

I just want you to be aware, that you have a leg up and enjoy a feeling of security in certain situations that I don't always get to. Good for you. But be aware that it's not so easy for everyone else and be sensitive to that fact.

The simple act of walking down the street holding the hand of your heterosexual partner. That's a basic freedom, amirite? Nothing wrong with a wholesome couple showing a little basic affection at the mall: simple. Why would you feel grateful for something like that?

The thing is it's not so simple for gay, lesbian and trans people. There is a real danger which we face, of not only discrimination and bullying, but also being beaten or even killed, simply because we have a same-sex relationship and someone decided that gives them a right to act violently towards us.

The experience of marginalized groups is vast, complex and often very very sad. If you are not coming into contact with people of color or queer people on a regular basis you might not even think about these experiences, and then be confused by all the protests being broadcast on TV. But those things that you consider basic rights and freedoms aren't actually that basic for everyone.

It shouldn't be a privilege to be treated with respect. It shouldn't be a privilege to know that you are going to have fun and be safe at the end of the night. It shouldn't be a privilege to think you will be treated fairly and are safe from harm...

But it is.

So tonight, when you are doing your gratitude practice, when you finish your meditation and are about to write down 5 things you are grateful for, please compare yourself to someone who has less privilege than you, to someone who is poor and not sure where they will get money for dinner, to someone who is scared of being themselves in front of their family, to someone who literally cannot imagine living a life as carefree as yours....

and be really damn grateful for your privilege.

<3